I give you a lot of praise and credit for trying so hard. Thanks for sharing another experience and perspective for new moms to learn from.

I am aware that homebirth is not illegal as you explained as and I explained in my post about it. My second child was born at home in NYS. But thanks for contributing.

This book will help you from day 1 but your babies sleep patterns won’t really start to form until about 6 weeks of age. My advice would be to order/purchase the book now and read up so when your son’s sleep patterns mature you are ready with a plan. Hope that helps!

Great article! I just wanted to say that home births are not illegal in New York State, while there are additional regulations in NYC. It is not that any OB or midwife will automatically lose their license, it is that if something goes wrong, they are immediately responsible for it. They ate much more open to lawsuits and may lose their license in the event of unforeseen problems. Many OBs and midwives will refuse to do home births because of this openness in regards to liability.

Thanks and I love your blog!!

I had every intention of exclusively breastfeeding even after a diagnosis of IGT by a midwife and an LC during pregnancy, since some women are still able to. I don’t regret having to feed formula to my daughter, but the loss of an exclusive breastfeeding relationship was emotionally devastating to me. I’m lucky to have a kid who isn’t picky about where her food comes from, breast or bottle, so I still nurse her for little snack feedings and comfort. What’s left is pumped and put in her next bottle. Some is better than none, I believe. I intend on keeping up this routine as long as I am able.

Just throwing this out there for the commenters who believe women who formula feed are all ill-informed.

There are a lot of variables…I know. It would probably be easiest if you we just hop on the phone…that way you can ask all your questions and get answers right away.

Cloth diapering twins is going to be a challenge during those newborn months were “it” comes out as fast as it goes in! But, once they systems regulate it won’t be too bad at all.

It really depends on your budget. If you have the funds to invest in a system like Fuzzi Bunz, that is the way to go since you can use the same diapers from newborn to potty training. But, if you need to start small and gradual, then good ol prefolds and covers are the way to go.

I will send you an email with my home number. So feel free to give me a shout.

Best,

Jess

There is so many questions I could ask but help is what I am looking for.

I apologize if my article offended you. That was certainly not my intention. I was simply sharing my experience with pumping. I tried it several times with very little production and sore nipples to show for it. I don’t what I would have done if it was my only option to feed my baby breast milk. I commend you for doing what you can to get your babe the best nutrition possible. Truly, I was not passing judgement on moms who choose to pump and I am truly sorry if my words hurt you in any way.

Jess

Sorry you have to go back to work…big bummer in deed. Your concern is more than understandable. My suggestion is to introduce your nanny sooner than later to allow your son to get to know her/him and develop a bond. Your nanny can still practice many elements of attachment parenting (babywearing, co-sleeping, listening to your baby’s needs etc) in your absence.

One thing to remember, a baby crying in someone’s arms soothing them is NOT the same as being left alone in a crib to “cry it out”. Naturally, your baby is going to miss you and cry for you. This is something you may need to accept and find a way to handle it. Having faith in your nanny is going to be crucial for this transition to go as stress free for you and your babe as possible.

Like I said, get your nanny involved ASAP. Good luck!

Jess

I would go with whatever your budget allows. Both are great. The model reviewed here is the “standard”. A close friend of mine has the “performance” and swears by it as well. It really is just a matter of budget…Thanks for stopping by!

Jess

Thanks!

Now then…that wasn’t really my point! Lol. My point is, my baby B is now 6 months old, and he is suddenly having trouble nursing. I’m afraid it could be GER(D), which is how I came upon this link in the first place. For almost 2 weeks now, he’s been fussy while nursing, not nursing for long, refusing to nurse, etc. I took him to the dr. today, to check to be sure it wasn’t ear infection. Which it wasn’t. I didn’t think of GER til later. Now, though, I’m regretting having “taught” B to sleep through the night, because he’s not gaining weight–in fact, he lost 7 oz. since 2 days ago –and he’s not going to wake up at night to nurse, so he’s not making up for not eating as much in the daytime by nursing through the night!! Now I’m wondering, “gee, maybe I should’ve co-slept…maybe I shouldn’t have sleep-trained him, maybe that over-rode his signals of waking up in the night to be fed like he should’ve been!”

So! New parents! Or even not-so-new parents! Think carefully about whether you will sleep train or not, or co-sleep or not. I think that babies probably should be waking in the night, especially exclusively breastfed babies–til they’re older, and eating enough in the daytime. Especially if they’re like my skinny baby, who now is sliding backwards!

On another more positive note, I too am not crazy about the adjustment aspect of the Ergo. But, once the adjustments are made I found it to be super comfortable. What we did is use a Sleepy Baby Wrap for the first few months when there was more “on and off” action happening and then as our kids grew older and were in the carrier for extended periods of time, we switched to the Ergo. It really is a matter of personal preference and body type. Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the conversation.

Besides the pdf files, you basically get a parent workbook and two DVDs. The Toddler DVD is noted as a “special bonus” but this is misleading if you have an infant, since the information on the toddler DVD is not relevant. So, for us, the toddler DVD was useless. Sadly, the infant DVD adds nothing to the workbook. It is basically Davis addressing a captive audience repeating everything in the workbook. Though professionally produced and well choreographed, there is no additional value to viewing the DVD unless a) you can’t read or b) you don’t have the time to read the workbook or c) you want to make some popcorn and invite family members over to make a night of the viewing.

So in terms of value, it really comes down to the workbook and, sadly, this information is pretty basic. Especially considering that for $36 you could buy 4 complete (used) book on this subject on Amazon.com. Researching online produced several useful threads of information that were just as useful for free, including more than one document that looks at the range of sleep solutions possible for infants with pros and cons. In fact, the Baby 411 book does a decent job of this. My wife, who is a physician, stated that in her opinion this methodology would work best for a stay at home mom or one that was formula-feeding her baby. She noted that it was pretty much impossible for a professional, breast-feeding mother who is working full time to implement this system without negative consequences to her milk supply, even with pumping.

I am sure that Davis is very skilled and has a lot of experience, and this package would be a great introduction if you were going to work with her personally. However, as a package that is meant to be used on its own by parents, we did not find it to be a good value, whatever your philosophy.

I do want to say (kindly) that you welcomed comments and the previous lady, though opinionated, meant no harm and seemed very much like she was trying to be friendly. You cannot welcome comments on the internet without being prepared to have some that you may not like. There will be assumptions in responses to a blog post. You might want to try just smiling, thanking her for her suggestions, congratulating her on finding the carrier for her and explaining to her what you just said. That might be an easier way to get to “the more the better”

I found my Ergo long before it was “popular”. Stop making so many assumptions, please.

Your baby is too young to be expected to self sooth. Most babies are not ready to sleep through the night until they are weaned or close to one year. Some babies do sleep through earlier than that…but based on the books I have read and feedback that I have gotten from other moms, the one year mark is the norm.

Buy Pantley’s book and make a plan. Your baby will be a good sleeper for the rest of his life if you follow her advice.

As the mother of a baby who had Silent Acid Reflux that wasn’t diagnosed until 3 months of age and didn’t clear up completely until 11 months old–I find your article slightly irritating. I don’t feel that you understand what its like to deal with a child who cries non-stop for 8-12 hours every day/night, never sleeping longer then 45 minutes IF being held or rocked consistently. It sounds very apparent that you have not directly experienced the implications of a child with severe acid reflux.

Additionally, the jury is not “still out” on rice cereal and that is incorrect information. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that rice cereal is a valid treatment option for children with acid reflux when they are having difficulty keeping any food down at all in their stomach and are experiencing failure to thrive. This should be done with the advise of the pediatrician and dosing can be found at the AAP website. The reason that this is arguably not the best solution is that infants should be on breastmilk/formula only for the first six months and adding rice-cereal can result in the risk of the child possibly developing food allergies because of early exposure of food resulting in exposure to the still open blood-brain barrier.

Breast-milk is best, but if a mother formula feeds, she can try using Soy, Gentle Formulas or even the hypoallergenic formulas if allergies are suspected. Many children do much better on one particular brand or type then another. I have never heard of a “goats milk formula” and I do believe people that use goats milk, are using just that. Straight up goats milk which is not at all advisable because it does not contain the proper nutrients.

A bouncing, (yes bouncing) or vibrating chair can often be your best friend for a child with Acid Reflux as its very soothing reminding the child of being in the womb. I have never read any medical information on how this would upset the child’s stomach, and I’m curious for a source citation on where you read this. Personally, I have found rides in the car to be the best thing for a crying baby as many mothers can attest too–it calms them right down. Advising against a carseat isn’t logical. It doesn’t put pressure on a baby’s stomach–as long as the car-seat is rear-facing at the proper 45 degree angle as it should be–the angle and uprightness will allow gravity to keep the food in its place. The carseat is the same concept as slanting the crib angle that you suggested earlier which is also helpful.

There are two different types of medicine used to treat this in babies, and they are “zantac” and “prevacid” and their generic forms. Zantac is the much milder version and is often enough for most children.

I am aware that none of my explanations are technical but a simple google search of the American Academy of Pediatrics or Webmd will clarify a much more textbook explanation of what I have already explained. Next time that you write an article about a medical condition that your child does not have, please allow a guest blogger or do an in-depth personal interview with a doctor or other informed person on the topic so that the correct information is passed along. I do apologize for any spelling/grammatical areas. This is quite rough but its 2 a.m. and I felt the need to respond even in my sleepy state. I hope this is helpful to some mother out there trying to find out why their kid just won’t stop crying. Peace.

You mentioned you had a hip-style Mei Tai, but have you ever used a regular Mei Tai? I know everyone has their favorites, but every mom that I know who baby-wears (7??) uses a Mei Tai and we all reached that conclusion on our own before we met up together!

Whether you use one with a traditional tie or a clasp (I prefer the clasp so there is no long strands on the ground)–its super simple and can be used from preemie to 35 pounds (or 45 depending on the style). I would strongly encourage you to try one. I think you will find that the support as well as putting the baby/toddler in and out of the carrier is simplified while the leg holes in the Ergo make it more complex. They come in masculine colors (mine is black) and it looks just fine on the guys as well.

I was really disappointed in the Ergo and felt that the weight wasn’t nearly as centered as a Mei Tai. I’m super glad you are baby-wearing and keep it up–The ERGO might just be what works for you but I would say that you need to try a front/back carry in a Mei Tai before you decide on your favorite just yet

The one thing that jumps out at me is your bedtime. It should be much earlier, you want to shoot for between 6-7pm. Start moving the routine back by 15 minutes every few days til you are at the point where you are starting the routine at 6pm. Also, have her eat her cereal and fruit first, then bath, massage, pj’s, nurse, daddy time then down. It AWESOME that she is letting Daddy put her down.

As far as dropping the night wakings, for her age to be waking every 3-4 hours to nurse isn’t bad at all. It’s normal for her age and nutritional needs. I would try Pantley’s PPO method, and keep her from nursing to sleep. Once she hits the 9 month mark you can maybe ask daddy to jump in at night for one of the wakings and see if she will take him and rock back to sleep. That’s what we did and it worked great. Eventually, Miah dropped one night waking.

Bottom line, once they hit the one year mark they start to sleep through the night. Especially with the positive foundation you have laid it may happen sooner. Adding a lovey is a great idea and unless she is “muddy” don’t worry about a wet diaper. I use heavy fleece ones on Miah, keeps him warm and he doesn’t feel wet.

Just keep doing what you are doing other than the minor suggestions I made. Remember, its all about positive sleep associations. Both of my kids are great sleepers, no bedtime battles, no night wakings, not even when they are sick or teething. And I did it all without any tears. It takes unbelievable patience but in the end it is SOOO worth it. Evalee and Miah love their beds and are happy to go to sleep every night. They each have routines and we stick with them as much as possible. Know that it does get better, they grow up so fast. Try to enjoy the night feedings while they last. Believe it or not, you will miss them.

She usually wakes between 12.30 and 3 to nurse and quickly goes back to sleep. I have tried to let her fuss for a while, rock her, sing, etc. She will not go back to sleep unless she nurses. She wakes again anywhere from 3-4 hours after that either for the day or to nurse again and sleep for another hour or so. If she is not awake, I wake her for the day around 7.40am.

I have really worked hard to get her to this stage, as she was not a good napper or night sleeper from day 1. I really would like to cut out the night feeding(s). I plan on trying to get her to sleep a little earlier; maybe around 7.45pm, introducing a lovey and shortening the night nursing sessions. I also change her diaper at night, so I might stop that as well. Any other suggestions or advice? She does not take a paci.

Thanks,

Doreen

I am trying to earn some publicity for the Nature Conservancy’s mission to plant 1 billion trees.  I would like to discuss advertising options with you. If you wouldn’t mind emailing me back that would be great.

Thanks,
Carly

No Cry Sleep Solution, buy it.

She has tips on how to deal with all night snackers like your little one. It sounds like he is using you as a pacifier. Granted, a baby that young is not quite ready to sleep through all night, especially due to teething and growth spurts but every 90 minutes is too often. I know how brutal that is, my first did that to me too.

Some tips to get you buy until you have a chance to get and read the book:

-Introduce a lovey of some sort. A little soft blanket or an infant safe stuffed animal.
-Add some white noise. A fan, air purifier, anything with a hum to simulate the noisy womb and drown out any other noises and bumps in the house
-Make naps a priority. A well rested baby sleeps better at night. I know it seems counter intuitive but its true, trust me.
-Nurse him til he is sleepy but not asleep (I think you are doing this already) even in the middle of the night.
-Get Daddy involved! If you have just nursed him and he is awake again after 90 min send Daddy in to sooth him back down. You need you sleep too.
-Tank him up during the day. Try to get him to nurse more often during the day.
-Try all cotton PJ’s. Some babies are sensitive to certain fabrics.

If he sleeps best in the rocker, so be it. You can get him out of that once you resolve some of these other issues.

Make a plan and stick with it. It takes up to two weeks to change old habits and patterns. Keep a journal so you can see the progress, this will help you forge ahead. Every little improvement should be celebrated.

Good luck!

That’s great. Congrats on the new baby!

As far as your blog, I recommend Yaro Starak’s blog and Ebook. Go to entrepreneurs-journey.com and sign up for his list, you’ll then get access to download his Ebook on blogging for income. Some of the traffic sources are a bit outdated but the overall instruction on creating content is great.

One other suggestion, focus on content first and foremost. You will build a loyal following from your content.

Two other great resources on the organic/natural side of things, if you haven’t found them already, are the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep database and The Good Guide. They have ratings for all sorts of cosmetics and skin care products.

As far as parenting advice, enjoy the early months and roll with the punches. Sleep when the baby sleeps as much as you can and know that after the first year it gets a lot easier.

My favorite baby books are The No Cry Sleep Solution and The Baby Book by Dr. Sears.

Let me know if I can help you with anything else!

Jess

Thanks a lot for your post, there’s some great information here. I just started a blog that will explore ingredients in cosmetics and recommend green and natural products. I’m also a new mom and love the articles on baby wearing, attachment parenting etc. I would love to get more tips and advice from you both on starting an online business and taking care of my little one.

Best wishes,
Jennifer

Are you still answering questions on here? I see the last post was in January.

Well I hope you are. Here is our situation:
My son is currently 5 months old. I start a bedtime routine between 6:30-6:45 and he is usually asleep by 7:00-7:15. He gets sooo cranky if he is not asleep by this time. Bedtime routine: bath every other night, read book (if he is not already cranky and ready to eat), go into his room (dim lighting), turn on his glow seahorse, breastfeed, put in rocker. He is usually drowsy but not yet sleeping by this time and falls asleep on his own. Sometimes he takes a passy and sometimes he doesn’t want it. He typically wakes up after sleep 2.5-3 hours (although he used to sleep 4-5 hours when I first put him to bed). When he wakes up I go into his room and breastfeed him and he is usually back to sleep in his rocker within 10-15 minutes. He then wakes up every 2-2.5 hours. I usually feed him approximately 4 times and he wakes between 5:15-6:15.

He is still in his inclined rocker we bought for him orginially because he had reflux and this just worked for him. Now we can’t get him out of it. I have tried to put him down in his crib but he looks up at me and cries. My mom watches him during the day and she said sometimes she can get him to sleep in his crib for a nap. His main issue with the crib is being on his back. He doesn’t mind being on his back in the inclined rocker but when he is flat on his back he won’t go to sleep. He will sleep on his side but as soon as he flips to his back he wakes up. I usually wrap him once he is in his rocker kind of like a swaddle but with blankets and he seems to like that.

My main issue right now is with him sleeping. I would think he does not need to eat every 1.5-2.5 hours at night because he usually eats every 3-4 hours during the day so he should be able to stretch longer at night. I know he is a breast fed baby but I am assuming he should be able to only need to wake one time to fed during the night. I don’t know why he started to sleep for stretches of 4-5 hours and now the longest he has slept recently has been 3 hours. He is currently teething but he started sleeping less before we noticed the teething. When his teeth are really hurting him he wakes up every 1-1.5 hours. Do you have any suggestions????

Thanks!

Pick up a copy of Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution for Pre Schoolers and Toddlers. Best advice to be had! Good luck.

Jess

I love your birth plan — I notice some of the code is a little wonky here. Is there a Word document available that you wouldn’t mind sending? I’d love to have a copy to use, as my husband and I are expecting our first baby (a little boy) in March 2011.

Best,
Hillary

I sent you an email.

Jess

I found your articles on Ezine. Love them. I’d love to post them, starting with Organic Vs. Natural, What’s the Difference. Then, I’d like to stop back and post more at a later date.
Thanks for writing them and making the information available!

Susan Lutz

I think you may be missing my/our point. This article is about women who choose to pump because they do not like to nurse for one reason or another, not because they have to go back to work. I applaud any working mom who pumps. Honestly, with the little experience I have had with pumping, I don’t think I could do it. So please, don’t think the nature of this post is to criticize moms like your friends. Not at all. I was just an interesting article about women who pump even though they don’t “need” to and in turn it started an interesting conversation.

Today I posted an article titled Diapers, Diapers, Diapers that I thought you and your readers may be interested in. Cloth diapers make sense for so many reasons: health, cost effective, and the right choice for the environment. I am the author of a book titled In The Trenches – Financial Survival During Times of Hardship and a companion blog. One of the options I promote is the use of cloth diapers.

I hope you will visit the site and leave your comments on the post and share it with your readers as a link. I plan to do follow-up articles on the subject and am considering doing a round up of sites that support the cloth diaper choice. I would be happy to share your story as a guest post.

As you can see I am open to options and ideas and would like to hear from you. So please visit http://inthetrenches2009.blogspot.com and let me know what you think.

Carol

I think the No Cry Sleep Solution would be able to help you. It sounds like your daughter has become dependent on you and her paci to fall asleep and now that her sleep cycles are maturing and her “awareness” has increased she is needing you every time she has the slightest awakening in the night.

She needs to learn how to self soothe, but gradually and gently. The NCCS helps you do just that.

You are already ahead of the curve by having a routine in place and with her napping so well, that is half the battle.

I would start by putting her down, with her paci, sleepy but awake at bedtime. Stay in the room in the rocker and see what happens. If she starts to fuss, pick her up, calm her down and then try again.

One of the main problems with CIO is that babies develop and negative association to sleep. It sounds like your little one likes sleep and welcomes it but has gotten to a point where she is not sure how to get there.

I hope that helps!

Holly Kostas over here in LP turned me on to your great website and said I could drop her name in contacting you as I am currently studying to be a post-partum doula up here in the Adirondacks. My family and I (hubby and 2 girls 6 & currently live in Paul Smiths (at the college) and are moving to LP permanently next year. So when I was telling Holly about my doula interest she sent me your way! I was interested what you thought about the need and/or desire for doulas in the north country recognizing the communities are rural and very spread out. While I personally think doula are amazing, I’m hesitant to commit to the work not knowing if there is a market. Any thoughts on this? Thanks for all your great work – can’t wait to read more. I’ve just found your site this morning. Take care, Jenn

I am of the thinking that if your baby is waking after 5 – 6 hours of solid sleep needing to eat then he is probably genuinely hungry. Even if it is just a few ounces, it may be what he needs to feel full and fall back to sleep.

But, if this one night waking is causing a real problem for you then I would suggest a couple of things…

One, try getting him to bed a little earlier, a little bit at a time (15 min increments with a few days between time changes) until he is going down closer to 6:30 or 7. I know it may seem counter intuitive, but it has been proven that an early bedtime until the age of 2 is best for their overall sleep patterns.

Two, try upping his food/formula intake during the day. Fill that tank a bit more so to speak. But avoid foods later in the day that can be stimulating such as refined carbs and sugars. When I eliminated white potatoes from my DD’s diet and substituted sweet potatoes her sleep improved that same night.

Three, try to wean the night feeding bit by bit. Have less and less formula in the bottle (again by tiny increments).

I don’t have any experience with formula so you may want to consult with your pediatrician about how to go about altering the number of ounces per day your little guy is getting.

Finally, if none of this works then I would simply chalk it up to him truly needing to eat and do your best to persevere. If he is sleeping well overall, which IMHO, it sounds like he is…have faith that this will probably pass soon. I read somewhere that 10 months is usually the turning point for a lot of babies when it comes to sleeping through the night as this is when the frequent growth spurts subside and their nervous system matures to be able to sleep for 10-11 hours at a stretch.

I know MANY moms who would trade places with you in a second to have only one night waking per night. Some babies still wake 2-3 times per night at this age.

All the best,

Jess

Experiment, give her only 120 and see how she does.

Also try the gripe water. Will phone you tomorrow.

I think you should go to the doc. because before the two were only 15 oz. apart and now Ainsley is much more than that, Peyton is slowly falling behind.

That is a good point. Overall there is going to be some benefit to the babies regardless of how the milk is being “delivered” or the “age” of said milk.

I do believe I have read something similar about the milk changing as the baby ages but I think that is more in regards to the density and caloric makeup, not the super antibodies and nutrients.

My fascination with the subject is more directed towards the choice “pumping” moms are making. Like I said in my comments on the article, I HATED pumping, couldn’t be bothered with all the cleaning involved and truly enjoyed the closeness nursing provides.

I have to admit it would have been (be) nice to hand babe over to Daddy or MomMom for a break now and again.

But, Miah is already 5 months and before I know it he will be a walking, talking, weaning toddler.

I applaud you endlessly for doing everything you could to do what was best for your babies. Your case is absolutely an exceptional one. Any mom with multiples needs help in some form. Knowing what is involved with nursing one baby I can only imagine the challenge two or more babies must pose.

Lanolin would be my biggest recommendation to any nursing mother, and if you can get your hands on the book “Fresh Milk” (which I found at a yard sale) it is a compilation of breastfeeding stories from women around the world with a great variety of positive and negative experiences and advice.

I thought I would breastfeed for the whole first year, but my daughter decided she was done at ten months. The end of breastfeeding is a bittersweet experience. It is amazing what our bodies can do. I am so glad that I didn’t give up in the hospital when the nurses were being so pushy and that I was able to give my daughter the best nutritional start.

no matter how sore i am now, i would rather my baby latches on than giving him the bottle. furthermore, he gets lazy and impatient with my nipple after getting the easy flow from a bottle.

You are so right! Thanks.

Where are you located? I can ask my midwife if she knows of anyone close to you…if you are more comfortable you can send me the info private email to jray1175@gmail.com.

How far along are you?

It has been my experience that you KNOW when a nut butter has turned. It smells and tastes very sour. Beyond that, there is no danger at all. We use an all “natural” peanut butter for our PB&J’s and although it says “refrigerate after opening” we don’t since we go through it so fast. But, in the off time when we are not using up the jar as fast as usual we just pop it in the fridge to keep.

I hope that answers your question.

I just took a quick look at Healthy Moms, great site. Happy to network with you!

I do agree that it seems that breastfeeding is not being emphasized enough and often looked down upon. However, I will never frown about it. It is a beautiful thing and any mother who is able to, should at least try it before deciding otherwise.

By the way, I work as a virtual assistant of The Healthy Moms ( http://www.thehealthymoms.net ), the site is fairly new and I thought I would drop by some mom and health related sites to spread the word.

First off, that is WAY too late of a bedtime for your little boy. At that age he should be in bed by 7pm at the latest. My DD is almost four and is in bed by 7:30pm.

Second, he should be napping at least once if not twice a day. If he is not, then he is OVER tired which contributes to night wakings.

Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution For Pre-Schoolers and Toddlers gets into all of this, you may want to grab a copy. Otherwise, feel free to contact me via private email to set up a time to talk. jray1175@gmail.com

Best,

Jess

You make a good point. I know some women who “flaunt” breastfeeding with the intention of making people uncomfortable and then giving someone are hard time for staring or looking. The more of us who nurse in public with just a touch of modesty and respect for others the more I would hope nursing moms would be treated with the same respect and therefore find more support when they are out and about with their babies.

Thanks for contributing to the conversation!

Most of the time? I’ve passed people in the airport and other public places that are breast feeding and most people don’t even notice.

It’s the trashy woman with the mini skirt and low-brow sneer that whips her breast out the neck of her shirt to expose herself to the world that sears into people’s mind’s eye though.

There’s a serious “ick” factor in that situation and it makes the act -seem- lewd.

Then, all of a sudden whenever the topic is brought up, it’s not all those discrete instances they missed that stick in their minds but rather the one bad seed in the bunch.

It is a common misconception that babies only wake due to hunger and that their sleep will improve when they begin to eat solids, but it is really a matter of their system maturing and developing the ability to sleep without help.

The music may be starting to backfire or work against you at this point. I would try switching to white noise like a fan or air purifier. Also, a lovey of some sort may help.

You also want to look at her nap time sleep and be sure that she is getting enough sleep during the day. She could be overtired and therefor need more help to sleep at night and unable to stay asleep.

You would really benefit from reading the No Cry Sleep Solution. It really puts things in a perspective that makes sense. The plan she proposes can take a few weeks to kick in, so to speak, but is well worth it in the end. It would help you wean her from the swing.

Also, try to look at it as a good thing that she doesn’t need to nurse to sleep. That can get rough when you baby uses you as a pacifier which is what happened to me with my first baby.

Sorry I couldn’t be of more help to you…I am not on my game 100% right now as I am dealing with newborn sleep issues at the moment.

All the best and I hope you can get some sleep soon.

Hope to see you all soon… Joyce

My daughter is 10 months old, has never been a good sleeper, but I am afraid that it is getting worse in some respects. For several months when she was younger (like 4-6 months or even younger than that), she would nurse, then I could lay her down in her crib (travel crib actually) in our room, pat her while she fussed a little bit, and she would go on to sleep. She did not fall asleep every time she nursed, like my son had when he was nursing. I considered it a problem that I did not have nursing as a sure-fire method to get her to sleep. She later began to fall asleep more while nursing. It got so bad, be started putting her in the swing to go to sleep, and she would sleep for maybe 4 hrs, but if the swing stopped, she’d wake up. Well, the motor died (we bought it 3 yrs ago for our first son), so luckily she will now stay asleep after it has stopped. We have to swing her ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP OF THE SWING MOTION, when it bumps, and that is the only way she will go to sleep in the swing. Oh, and the music on the swing is on too, and that helps. Many nights, I will nurse for a few minutes, and she starts to fuss and push away. I don’t think I am producing as much milk, as she is eating a good bit of solids. We make sure to feed her good before bed (solids I mean). When she starts to fuss and push away, I then try to just rock her and pat her to sleep. But her crying escalates. We have a soothing song playing all night, hoping that sound will soothe her (our son has a sound machine with ocean waves, but she seemed to respond better to music when she was younger). My husband says, “let me just swing her to sleep”. So I give up and hand her over. last night he swung her to sleep, then put her in her crib, and she slept for 2 hrs. then I nursed her back to sleep, put her back in her crib, she slept for 2 hrs. Then I couldn’t get her to go back to sleep for an hour (nursing). Finally I got her back to sleep in the swing, and she slept for at least a last 4 hrs.
I have never heard of a baby who will not go to sleep with Mommy rocking her, but will go to sleep banging in the swing. Help!! You seem very knowledgeable from the info I’ve read here. I’ve tried to give you all the info I can so you can give me some tips.
Again, thanks for saving me the money I may have spent to buy 3DaySleep, since I would not have been comfortable with the recommendations to let her cry.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Nancy

I just recently had baby #2 and incorporated some prefolds into my collection and I have to say I like them a lot.

Once you get the hang of using the Snappi, and make sure to tuck the prefold in real well all around to be sure none is sticking out (this will cause leaks, eek), they are great.

Honestly, if I knew then what I know now, I would have skipped the bum genius’s and gone with the prefolds from the beginning…oh well. Live and learn.

Thanks a “bundle”

Thanks!

I tried to leave a comment on your blog but it wouldn’t let me…your story is beautiful. Can I post on my blog? I am trying to collect MW attended home birth stories.

Jess

Here’s my birth story: http://www.theslcblog.com/2008/12/blast-from-past-our-birth-story.html

Hooray for home births!

Sure. I will add you to my blogroll.

Best,

Jess

I came upon your site and was impressed with the content. I am a WHAM, with a cloth diapering e-commerce company called monkeybunz.com. I was wondering if you would be interested in exchanging links to each others sites. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you,

Rhonda Benson

It sounds like you need to go back to the drawing board a bit, maybe re-read the relevant parts of the No Cry Sleep Solution as a refresher and re-enforcer of the philosophy.

First, I would start by keeping a sleep journal. Write down when he goes down and when he wakes…trust me you will see a pattern eventually. Evalee was all over the map too when I started so just trust me on this. Get a little notebook and write down when he wakes, when he goes down, how he went down (nursing, rocking etc) and when he ate.

Second, try a different object as a lovey. What is he drawn to? I purchased one of those Snoedels for Evalee (from the NCSS) and she wanted nothing to do with it. I noticed that she really like this one knitted blanket we got as a gift. I asked my MIL to make a little version of it, about 10in by 10in, and she still uses it to this day (she is 3 and a half). Does he have a little stuffed animal he likes? Try to find something, anything to replace you as a comfort tool.

Third, try introducing some white noise rather than music. A fan or something that makes pure white noise. Music can be stimulating rather than soothing.

Fourth, lighting. What is the light quality in his room. He may need complete darkness to sleep. We had to put room darkening shades on Evalee’s windows to get her to nap.

Fifth, now bear with me on this one…but have you considered co-sleeping? Just to get him to sleep for now and then once you do have a schedule, routine etc introduce the crib. Just a thought. You may be surprised. And if it means you all getting the much needed sleep you all need, why not?

Sixth, do NOT let him nurse to sleep. Tickle his feet, chin, whatever to keep him just slightly awake. Try to follow the wake, eat, play sleep pattern.

Seventh, not that you want to read yet another book but this one is an easy read and really helpful: “The 90-minute Baby Sleep Program” by Polly Moore, PHD. I am using this method along with the NCSS with my newborn (I had a baby boy Xmas morning) and so far so good.

I know this is a lot so I hope its not too much. Let me know how you make out. Whatever you do, give it at least 2 weeks. Create a routine and stick with it.

Good luck,

Jess

Thanks for the quick feedback!

i did try to introduce a lovey but it never worked… i still breastfeed with the lovey beside us but he doesn’t really go for it… i;ve evn slept with it and then put it in his crib. his daytime naps are horrible.. since day one he never slept longer than 20 min catnaps… and he always had to be swaddled.. especially at night till about 4 months old. onle recently has he been napping longer about 40-60 min… but usually 40 on the nose.. and he gets very cranky around 6-630 and sometimes catnaps at that time too. his bedtime routine starts with a bath… however… we were only giving baths every second night… because i was unsure if we should do it everynight… as he enjoys it but maybe too much… he gets excited … then we put on his pj’s and read a few books and then feed and the bed… and we play some soft music during the story and feeding.
i know i lack a REAL routine… even during the day… but i don’t know how to KEEP a routine when he is never the same… he doesn’t wake at the same time to start his day and he never sleeps at the same time for his naps or for the same amount of time… so i usually just go by his cues… but this means our routine is lacking… and i don’t know how to fix that??

ok… thanks for listening!
Frances

I am going to reply to you via private email but I wanted to comment here as well for the benefit of future readers…

I know it can feel like it but, a 5 and 1/2 month old is not capable of manipulation. I also know the temptation of the formula vs breast milk debate.

All he/she can do is tell you as best he/she can what she needs and that is through crying. It sounds like although you found some success with the No Cry Sleep Solution initially, you may need to revisit its principles for your baby’s new stage in life.

I have a few questions for you before I can offer too much advice:

1. Does your son have a lovey (other than the pacifier)?
2. How is his daytime sleep/naps?
3. What is the time like leading up to bedtime, what sort of routine have you created to signal time for sleep?

From what you have shared so far, it sounds like you have a “high need” baby. He needs your contact. Have you tried wearing him in a sling or wrap during the day to give him some more mommy contact time? Or is he in daycare now? Like I said, tell me more about your situation, what has changed other than his (and your) lack of sleep.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Jess

I stumbled upon your site looking for sleep tips for my 5 and 1/2 month old. I appreciated your blog however i already read the no-cry sleep solution and i did think it was working. i went from 3 night time feedings to picking him up and rocking him to putting the pacifier back in his mouth without picking him up till about 6am… which i thought was amazing… but now something is different… he wakes all the time and his longest stretch is only about 2 and a half hours. i started formula also and i think that was helping him sleep longer… but not anymore! My husband thinks we need to let him cry because the baby seems to manipulate us… when we pick him up he immediately stops crying and falls asleep and then we have a hard time putting him back in his crib… he cries the moment he feels like we are moving him away from our body. Anyways, i’m a VERY patient person but i’m starting to feel like something has got to give because i’m just sooo exhausted… and so is my baby who was NEVER a good sleeper.

any thoughts would be appreciated!
Thanks!
Frances

Self-hypnosis really works especially for birthing mothers. the pain really is terrible but it is worth it; plus you can lessen or eliminate pain thru self-hypnosis.

I will reply to you via private email.

Jess

My daughter is now 5 months old, she’ll be six months on the 29th. Since my husband and I brought her home from the hospital she had been sleeping threw the night. Lucky to say the least… up until recently. Over the last month or so she has been waking up during the night. Usually only once or twice, but since I have been back to work since this new pattern of hers is exhausting me.

Typically when she wakes up the first time, I go…put the nook in her mouth, place my hand on her till she falls back to sleep. Then about an hour or 2 later, she rises again and really demands a meal. So I give in.

Now here is the deal… recently I started her on solids, thinking “oh maybe she is going threw a growth spert”… So I would give her some cereal and some fruits in the morning with about 5-6 oz or milk. Then milk (8 oz) for the rest of the day. Unfortunatelty… this has not “cured” the issue because she is still waking up during the night.

My husband is I guess you could say a “closet” advocate for the “cry it out” method, where as for me, I just can’t see myself letting my child scream in distress until there is no other resort for their small bodies BUT to exhaust themselves into sleep. I just feel as though this method is cruel and just forms a DISTRUST…that really, your child DEPENDS on from the moment of conception.

I guess where I am going with this whole thing is… before I go and buy this book, maybe YOU could give me some sound advice! My email should show up for you to see if you would like to contact me there, PLEASE FEEL FREE!!!!
-Sandy

I will send you a private email about the whole Angel Stevens thing…I took that website down a couple months ago.

Jess

Best Wishes
Sue Ringle

Being that your daughter is 3 and I can only assume she can communicate with you…have you just come right out and asked her why she doesn’t like her new bed?

What was the transition? From crib/toddler size bed to a twin, full? Is the bed just a mattress on the floor? Tell me what her original sleep environment was like and how it has changed. Try and look at it from a 3 year old perspective. The time of 3 is also the time of fears. Does she have a lovey or “friend” to help comfort her? Have you tried a night light?

I want to help you and am more than willing to talk through all of this with you but you need to give me more insight.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Yes, if you are going to use raw nuts you do want to process them a bit to reap the full benefits and to prevent any digestive issues. Very good point, thank you.

Like I said to Rachelle, I think it is great your daughter responded so well to Davis’s method. And you too have a point that I did not try it myself.

But, I do not think that I am being harsh at all. In the printed review I simply state the facts of what the program contains. And in my video I share my experience as well as that of some of my family. I also quote. Dr. Sears information on the effect of the cry it out method.

My message to parents considering this method is to trust their instincts and to not do something out of desperation that they may regret. Every baby is different. There is no one size fits all method for anything in the world of parenting, as I am sure you know all too well.

You are certainly entitled to your opinion as am I. I am expecting my second child in Dec ’09 and my plan is to follow the No Cry Sleep Solution again since that is what worked so well for my daughter.

To any parents who may be reading this thread, take all of these comments into consideration. If you feel your baby or toddler will respond well to Davis’s program, then by all means, give it a shot.

I was initially TOTALLY against the cry it out method with my first daughter. She didn’t sleep for the first 9 months of life – NO KIDDING – 9 MONTHS of up every hour – My husband and I took shifts in the night to address the issue for this long and truth be told it took a toll on all of us – I read EVERY book out there including the one you recommend and I tried all the methods for weeks at a time to try to avoid the cry it out method.

A friend of mine recommended that I consult Davis and although I was hesitant and skeptical I called and followed her advice down to the simplest things – she was supportive and educational through the entire process and my child is now not only a GREAT sleeper but a Happy, well-developed, independent 3 year old. I consulted Davis again when our second daughter was born 9 months ago and within 8 weeks she was sleeping for 12 hours a night. We would NEVER let our children cry if they were hurt, scared, or ill and if I ever thought it would be detrimental to their development or psyche I would not have done it. I am a school psychologist and well educated in child development as well as what impacts parent’s behavior has on children.

For you to be so harsh on this method without having ever executing it yourself is not fair. I think it scares parents that may be in a situation like I was where no other solutions may have worked for them. I am sure the no cry solution works for many children but there ARE some that just need another way and this is NOT abusive in any form! I think you really need to educate yourself fully before you make sweeping statements about a method.

First of all let me say that I am very happy that you had positive results with the 3 Day Sleep Solution. And you certainly have a point in that I didn’t try the method out. Honestly, my daughter is almost 3 1/2 and is well beyond needing it thanks to the No Cry Sleep Solution. I was simply looking into something that parents were asking me about through my blog.

I feel you may have missed my point. I DO agree with the prep material Davis provides in preparing your baby for sleep. She absolutely provides sound advice in how to read sleepy signs, getting on the right schedule, the importance of naps and how to avoid using sleep crutches. I also like that fact that she cautions using her method until the baby is at least 3 months old.

BUT, one thing that Davis does not take into account is baby’s personality. Not all people/babies are sleepers. My daughter was one of them. Even when I was utilizing the very principles that Davis recommends (all very similar to those in the No Cry Sleep Solution) my daughter was very distraught and would cry very, very hard. She was a high need baby. (Lucky me!)

Your babies sound like this method was perfect for them and their personality and probably took to it so well because you followed Davis’s advice to the letter.

Let me ask you, when you say your babies did not cry that long at all, how long is that exactly? Just curious. Also, did they immediately sleep through the night? Just for the sake of other readers considering this product.

At the end of the day, we all want what is best for our children but have to keep our own sleep needs in mind. I did not mean to come across in saying that the 3 Day Sleep Solution is BAD. I just wanted people to know that it is a CIO method and that it may not be right for all babies.

Thank you for your feedback.

Jess

Wow. First I would like to commend you and your wife for sticking it out this long without using the cry it out method. I know how tempting it is when things get to this point.

How verbal is your daughter at this stage? Can you ask her what her fears are? Are you using a lovey or cuddly friend, white noise, night lite etc? For instance, on nights when my daughter (3 yrs old) is having a tough time going to sleep (bed nap day, over stimulated etc) I go in, sit at the bottom of her bed and ask her what is wrong. Sometimes she just needs one more song, a 5 min back rub, a drink of water…something like that and I never hear another peep.

There could be a couple of things going on with your little pumpkin. From how you are describing it, it sounds fear based. Like she is afraid you guys are going to leave. If that is the case, try leaving the door cracked so she can hear you a bit. Also, if fear is the issue, does she have a lovey of doll of some sort to being her comfort in your absence?

When you say you “try routine”, do you stick to it? Routine is crucial when helping your child learn how to sleep independently.

Without getting more information its hard to lead you in any particular direction. I would be more than happy to chat with you and your wife on the phone some evening. Although I am not a “expert” on infant/toddler sleep, it is a subject that I have studied extensively (you should see my bookshelf) and love helping fellow parents find gentle ways to teach their kiddos to sleep through the night.

Let me know and best of luck.

Jess

any advice is helpful, I will continue to check out your site

thanks

Natural Remedies from A to Z - Discover Natural Remedies that are Safe, Effective, and Beneficial

The Organic Market - Your Source for All Things Organic

This is what we used: http://acidreflux-babies.blogspot.com/2009/05/our-choice-for-probiotics.html

After using that, we finally got our happy baby!

Neither did I until I did the research. Some of it seems so obvious, ya know? Thanks for stopping by my site.

Jess

It is unfortunate but true that many woman are surprised to know that they have rights as a birthing woman. You are not sick and you are not a patient. You are simply a woman doing exactly what your body has been built for.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are certainly instances where medical intervention is necessary in order to keep mom and baby safe. But, overall, interventions are what put mom and baby in harms way. If doctors would just allow nature to take its course (due dates, pitocin) then there would be far fewer c-sections and difficult births.

I could go on and on. This is something that gets me pretty fired up so I’ll stop here.

If you decide to have another child, please feel free to contact me with any questions or help with preparing your birth plan.

Jess

I also wanted to say how beatiful your daughter is not only in her physical appearance, but I can see she has a beautiful heart, the Lord has truly blessed her and her parents.

Be Happy Be Blessed,
Rochelle

I can’t promise that you will make any money with the information I have for you BUT at the very least you will know the ins and outs of this screwy industry. Best of luck to you,

Jess

Jess

Yea, this area is beautiful and you can’t beat the summers here. If I can help at all with your biz, let me know.

Jess

Thanks for your great feedback – I’m glad that you’re enjoying Market Samurai – even in its unfinished state, when there’s so much left to be completed inside the tool.

Brent

In addition, while in New Orleans last November for some post-Katrina volunteer work, we spent some time assisting at a no-kill animal rescue shelter and ended up adopting another dog, our third. We named her Nola. She is a 2-yr. old aussie/heeler/Catahoula mix, weighs about 27 lbs. and is awesome. She provides some fresh energy for Pete, who is now 11 and blind, and Ruby who is in her homestretch at 15 1/2 and ailing.

Pass my greetings on to Matt and hope all is well in your world of beer, food, dogs, kids, etc.

Mendy

I need that low flow showerhead… looks like a good idea.

Here in Thailand, we do a lot of this stuff more or less because we have to. Like we always line dry our laundry, because we don’t have a dryer. Most people don’t. No dishwasher, so we all clean our dishes as soon as we’re finished. Big grocery stores are still much more expensive than the farmers market, plus the local farmers produce is much nicer, and right around the corner so we get what we need every couple of days. Not to mention our refrigerator is too small to hold much. Regular light bulbs are actually hard to find here, most everything in the stores are florescent.

For most Thais it seems, it just doesn’t make sense to consume in a way that produces so much trash. They reuse just about everything. It’s pretty neat.

Some of your suggestions I hadn’t even thought of though, like unplugging or flipping off the surge protector for devices that aren’t in use, but still consume energy like the TV, computers, and such.

Finally, another thing I like, is that most bathrooms here have a small water heater mounted on the wall in the bathrooms, that do a pretty good job of warming the water for showers. Every other faucet just runs cold, like in the sinks. It’d be interesting to hear your thoughts on hot water. I know some new houses come equipped with some kind of water heating mechanism that conducts heat from underground. Also, gets me thinking about water conservation.

Again, great post! Keep it up!