I never planned on having kids…
My associations with babies and children up until the age of 15 were very uncomfortable and full of anxiety. I felt like a child could look right through me. Expose every weakness.
There was also this 20 something phase of self righteousness when I thought it was “irresponsible” to bring a child into this world. After all, the planet is dying and overpopulated…how could I, in good conscience, bring another life into this mess!
Fast forward to some time in the winter of 2003.
Matt and I were hosting a little dinner party for another couple and their one year old daughter.
They were getting ready to head home and we were saying our goodbyes. This little sweet pea, in her pink winter coat with the furry hood, lays her head on her daddy’s shoulder. And I thought “I want that”.
I wanted to see Matt holding our sleepy child someday.
Fast forward again to Fall 2005. Yep, you guessed it, I’m pregnant.
At first I was a little freaked out.
Matt and I had just opened our restaurant 6 weeks before I took a home pregnancy test. Our life was a little hectic to say the least.
After I broke the news to Matt and my folks (and the morning sickness kicked in, oh joy) I did what I do best. Research.
I knew two things:
1. I would plan to have a natural birth and
2. I would breastfeed.
My mom had me naturally (I was supposed to be born at home but that’s a story I won’t get into here) and she breastfed me the first year of my life. Like many daughters, I followed my mom’s lead.
Much beyond that, I was lost.
Thanks to the almighty Google I found all sorts of forums, blogs, ezines and products that rocked my world.
New words like hypnobirthing, babywearing, attachment parenting and co-sleeping struck a chord within my mother-to-be’s soul. Products like cloth diapers, slings and wraps just made sense. I wanted it all.
Talk about doing a complete 180 right?
From “no, no kids, not a chance” to “I am going to be freakin super mom!”
I was going to do yoga every day of my pregnancy(ha!), have a perfect pain free hypnobirth (ha!ha!) and only eat nutritious food (man, did those 3rd trimester cravings kick my ass).
My child was never going to watch T.V. (ha! that lasted all of a year), only have my breast milk and homemade baby food (Evalee was orange from all the sweet potatoes), sleep through the night in my bed (ha! ha!) and a host of other unrealistic standards I could never maintain nor control.
Fast forward another year or so…
About the blog:
It’s around 9pm, Evalee is 9 months old, sleeping soundly. I should be in bed but I’m waiting up for Matt. The restaurant demands he be there at least 12 hours a day so evenings are the only time we really see one another.
I’m sitting at my computer (in a home office I set up so I could run our business and be a stay at home mom) searching “make money from home” and “work from home”. The recession hit our second year in business and money was tight.
The short version of this part of my story is that I got scammed, big time, to the tune of over $7K. (On credit cards no less)
But, if it wasn’t for that experience this blog wouldn’t exist.
I have started and stopped this thing so many times over the last 5 years that I’ve lost count…now I know why I couldn’t commit & maintain the blog long term…I wasn’t being myself.
I had all this internet marketing training, with this money making mindset (I was desperate) and it got in my way of being real, authentic and genuine. That added to the fact that I had Evalee, the restaurant and a few years later, Jeremiah. I had a lot on my plate.
Now that Evalee is 6 (really?!) and Jeremiah is about to turn 3 (my baby is not a baby anymore) I’ve gained some much needed experience, sleep, time and perspective that I feel will translate to more value for my readers.
So, if you’ve been here before and an article is missing it’s either:
- in the process of being re-written and improved or
- it’s gone for good.
Some articles were pure “marketing” content and I don’t do that anymore. If it isn’t my authentic story or I don’t have personal experience with it, I don’t write about it.
My goal now is simply to help moms (and dads) through my stories. I aim to help you make informed decisions and offer natural solutions to common problems we all face as parents. Take what works for you and leave the rest. There is no wrong or right way to be a loving parent.
This blog is my story, my experience. Nothing more and nothing less.
I’m also throwing in some fun stuff like iPhoneography (I was a pro photographer before I got married, started a restaurant and had two kids…life is funny that way right?), yoga, pilates, and books .
If you’ve read this far, you’re awesome and thanks for actually giving a shit enough to find out more about me. You can find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr and Instagram. I look forward to meeting you in the virtual world we now live in.