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3 Day Sleep Solution Review

As you can probably assume from the image I have chosen for my review of the 3 Day Sleep Solution program, this is yet another sleep training course using the “cry it out” method.

Before I get on my soap box about why allowing your child to “cry it out” is not something I endorse or practice in any way shape or form, I will attempt to review the 3 Day Sleep Solution as objectively as possible.

Like it says on the cover, “The Eight Steps To Getting Your Child To Sleep Through The Night And Take Great Naps”, Davis Ehrler provides step by step instructions for exhausted parents to navigate their way through the program. These Eight Steps is where I will focus my review.

Step #1 – Crib Preparation

Throughout this section, Davis covers things such as mobiles, toys, bumper pads, sheet colors and patterns and any other items that may serve as a distraction or stimulation to your baby’s senses. Okay, simple enough.

Step #2 – Eliminating All Sleep Crutches

This step is about crutches such as car rides, stroller rides, swings, rocking, feeding/nursing, swaddling and pacifiers and the steps to eliminate them.

Step #3 – Routines

Here she covers the importance of a consistent bedtime routine and offers times and actions to take for an “ideal routine”

Step #4 – Bed Times

In step 4, Davis covers the ideal bed times for various age groups ranging from 4-12 months, 12-18 months, 18 months – 2.5 years and so on.

Step #5, 6 & 7 – Crying and Effective Processing

Through out these three steps, Davis explains her A to Z theory as well as he take on why babies cry. She also outlines that you need to allow your baby to “process” (ie. cry) for at least one hour before going to console or comfort. This applies not only at bedtime but for night wakings as well.

Step #8 – Naps

Step 8 addresses similar steps like routine and such just applying them to a nap time ritual rather then a night time routine.

As far as the 3 Day Sleep Solution product you receive the written materials immediately after purchase in the form of 3 pdf files and then in a few days the physical materials arrive which includes the same written materials as well as the 2 DVD’s.

Now this is where I go off on my rant:

[flv:3-Day-Sleep-Solution-Review.flv 480 368]

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night

36 Responsesto “3 Day Sleep Solution Review”

  1. Avalon says:

    This is very helpful especially sleep problems caused by cognitive behavioural factors such as caffeine dependence, altered sleep pattern and stress. hypnosis

  2. Laura says:

    Most cry-it-out methods sound very much the same. The one I read is called “Sleep Sense”, by Dana Obleman. In fact, it sounds almost identical to this one. And a few others, as well. She basically beat around the bush, trying not to say “Babies need to cry-it-out”, as I can see this author did, as well, by instead terming it “processing”! Hah! Dana Obleman says a lot of things like, “you are giving your baby the gift of learning how to sleep on his own” or “teaching your child healthy sleep habits”. She downplays the crying by using examples of things babies cry about, like taking your car keys away from your baby, or not letting him have something he wants at the grocery store. She, too, states that all babies are different–some may cry for a few minutes, some could cry for an hour, before finally falling asleep. She says, “an average of 45 minutes, the first night.” Ugh! I don’t think I could let my child cry (or scream, in his case) for 45 minutes!! However, I did implement her methods, and they did work. Most parents who try “sleep training” will find that it does work. He cried for 20 minutes the first night, 5 minutes at naptime the next day, and maybe a minute or two at bedtime the 2nd night. After that, it’s been a piece of cake.

    Now then…that wasn’t really my point! Lol. My point is, my baby B is now 6 months old, and he is suddenly having trouble nursing. I’m afraid it could be GER(D), which is how I came upon this link in the first place. For almost 2 weeks now, he’s been fussy while nursing, not nursing for long, refusing to nurse, etc. I took him to the dr. today, to check to be sure it wasn’t ear infection. Which it wasn’t. I didn’t think of GER til later. Now, though, I’m regretting having “taught” B to sleep through the night, because he’s not gaining weight–in fact, he lost 7 oz. since 2 days ago :(–and he’s not going to wake up at night to nurse, so he’s not making up for not eating as much in the daytime by nursing through the night!! Now I’m wondering, “gee, maybe I should’ve co-slept…maybe I shouldn’t have sleep-trained him, maybe that over-rode his signals of waking up in the night to be fed like he should’ve been!”

    So! New parents! Or even not-so-new parents! Think carefully about whether you will sleep train or not, or co-sleep or not. I think that babies probably should be waking in the night, especially exclusively breastfed babies–til they’re older, and eating enough in the daytime. Especially if they’re like my skinny baby, who now is sliding backwards! :(

  3. Blair says:

    Having purchased and explored the 3-Day Sleep Solution briefly, I thought I would add to the commentary. Since much has been said already about CIO vs non-CIO, there is no need for me to address that aspect. What I did wan to discuss, however, is that this package currently costs $36.90 (with shipping). What does one get for that price?

    Besides the pdf files, you basically get a parent workbook and two DVDs. The Toddler DVD is noted as a “special bonus” but this is misleading if you have an infant, since the information on the toddler DVD is not relevant. So, for us, the toddler DVD was useless. Sadly, the infant DVD adds nothing to the workbook. It is basically Davis addressing a captive audience repeating everything in the workbook. Though professionally produced and well choreographed, there is no additional value to viewing the DVD unless a) you can’t read or b) you don’t have the time to read the workbook or c) you want to make some popcorn and invite family members over to make a night of the viewing.

    So in terms of value, it really comes down to the workbook and, sadly, this information is pretty basic. Especially considering that for $36 you could buy 4 complete (used) book on this subject on Amazon.com. Researching online produced several useful threads of information that were just as useful for free, including more than one document that looks at the range of sleep solutions possible for infants with pros and cons. In fact, the Baby 411 book does a decent job of this. My wife, who is a physician, stated that in her opinion this methodology would work best for a stay at home mom or one that was formula-feeding her baby. She noted that it was pretty much impossible for a professional, breast-feeding mother who is working full time to implement this system without negative consequences to her milk supply, even with pumping.

    I am sure that Davis is very skilled and has a lot of experience, and this package would be a great introduction if you were going to work with her personally. However, as a package that is meant to be used on its own by parents, we did not find it to be a good value, whatever your philosophy.

  4. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Doreen,

    The one thing that jumps out at me is your bedtime. It should be much earlier, you want to shoot for between 6-7pm. Start moving the routine back by 15 minutes every few days til you are at the point where you are starting the routine at 6pm. Also, have her eat her cereal and fruit first, then bath, massage, pj’s, nurse, daddy time then down. It AWESOME that she is letting Daddy put her down.

    As far as dropping the night wakings, for her age to be waking every 3-4 hours to nurse isn’t bad at all. It’s normal for her age and nutritional needs. I would try Pantley’s PPO method, and keep her from nursing to sleep. Once she hits the 9 month mark you can maybe ask daddy to jump in at night for one of the wakings and see if she will take him and rock back to sleep. That’s what we did and it worked great. Eventually, Miah dropped one night waking.

    Bottom line, once they hit the one year mark they start to sleep through the night. Especially with the positive foundation you have laid it may happen sooner. Adding a lovey is a great idea and unless she is “muddy” don’t worry about a wet diaper. I use heavy fleece ones on Miah, keeps him warm and he doesn’t feel wet.

    Just keep doing what you are doing other than the minor suggestions I made. Remember, its all about positive sleep associations. Both of my kids are great sleepers, no bedtime battles, no night wakings, not even when they are sick or teething. And I did it all without any tears. It takes unbelievable patience but in the end it is SOOO worth it. Evalee and Miah love their beds and are happy to go to sleep every night. They each have routines and we stick with them as much as possible. Know that it does get better, they grow up so fast. Try to enjoy the night feedings while they last. Believe it or not, you will miss them.

  5. Doreen says:

    Hello, I have a 6 1/2 month old and just bought the no-cry sleep solution book. Right now, she is still waking up once or twice per night to nurse. She sleeps in the crib (which she has been sleeping in for 3 months) and takes two naps per day. First morning nap is about 45 min-1 hour and afternoon nap is usually about 2 hours. She goes down for both naps awake and usually fusses for between 2-10 min then goes to sleep.
    At night, she has had the same routine for over 3 months:
    7.20pm bath
    massage
    change into pajamas
    eat barley cereal with a little fruit
    nurse read book with Daddy
    Daddy puts her down sleepy but awake
    Asleep by around 8.15pm

    She usually wakes between 12.30 and 3 to nurse and quickly goes back to sleep. I have tried to let her fuss for a while, rock her, sing, etc. She will not go back to sleep unless she nurses. She wakes again anywhere from 3-4 hours after that either for the day or to nurse again and sleep for another hour or so. If she is not awake, I wake her for the day around 7.40am.

    I have really worked hard to get her to this stage, as she was not a good napper or night sleeper from day 1. I really would like to cut out the night feeding(s). I plan on trying to get her to sleep a little earlier; maybe around 7.45pm, introducing a lovey and shortening the night nursing sessions. I also change her diaper at night, so I might stop that as well. Any other suggestions or advice? She does not take a paci.

    Thanks,

    Doreen

  6. Jess Ray says:

    Nicole,

    No Cry Sleep Solution, buy it.

    She has tips on how to deal with all night snackers like your little one. It sounds like he is using you as a pacifier. Granted, a baby that young is not quite ready to sleep through all night, especially due to teething and growth spurts but every 90 minutes is too often. I know how brutal that is, my first did that to me too.

    Some tips to get you buy until you have a chance to get and read the book:

    -Introduce a lovey of some sort. A little soft blanket or an infant safe stuffed animal.
    -Add some white noise. A fan, air purifier, anything with a hum to simulate the noisy womb and drown out any other noises and bumps in the house
    -Make naps a priority. A well rested baby sleeps better at night. I know it seems counter intuitive but its true, trust me.
    -Nurse him til he is sleepy but not asleep (I think you are doing this already) even in the middle of the night.
    -Get Daddy involved! If you have just nursed him and he is awake again after 90 min send Daddy in to sooth him back down. You need you sleep too.
    -Tank him up during the day. Try to get him to nurse more often during the day.
    -Try all cotton PJ’s. Some babies are sensitive to certain fabrics.

    If he sleeps best in the rocker, so be it. You can get him out of that once you resolve some of these other issues.

    Make a plan and stick with it. It takes up to two weeks to change old habits and patterns. Keep a journal so you can see the progress, this will help you forge ahead. Every little improvement should be celebrated.

    Good luck!

  7. Nicole says:

    Jess,

    Are you still answering questions on here? I see the last post was in January.

    Well I hope you are. Here is our situation:
    My son is currently 5 months old. I start a bedtime routine between 6:30-6:45 and he is usually asleep by 7:00-7:15. He gets sooo cranky if he is not asleep by this time. Bedtime routine: bath every other night, read book (if he is not already cranky and ready to eat), go into his room (dim lighting), turn on his glow seahorse, breastfeed, put in rocker. He is usually drowsy but not yet sleeping by this time and falls asleep on his own. Sometimes he takes a passy and sometimes he doesn’t want it. He typically wakes up after sleep 2.5-3 hours (although he used to sleep 4-5 hours when I first put him to bed). When he wakes up I go into his room and breastfeed him and he is usually back to sleep in his rocker within 10-15 minutes. He then wakes up every 2-2.5 hours. I usually feed him approximately 4 times and he wakes between 5:15-6:15.

    He is still in his inclined rocker we bought for him orginially because he had reflux and this just worked for him. Now we can’t get him out of it. I have tried to put him down in his crib but he looks up at me and cries. My mom watches him during the day and she said sometimes she can get him to sleep in his crib for a nap. His main issue with the crib is being on his back. He doesn’t mind being on his back in the inclined rocker but when he is flat on his back he won’t go to sleep. He will sleep on his side but as soon as he flips to his back he wakes up. I usually wrap him once he is in his rocker kind of like a swaddle but with blankets and he seems to like that.

    My main issue right now is with him sleeping. I would think he does not need to eat every 1.5-2.5 hours at night because he usually eats every 3-4 hours during the day so he should be able to stretch longer at night. I know he is a breast fed baby but I am assuming he should be able to only need to wake one time to fed during the night. I don’t know why he started to sleep for stretches of 4-5 hours and now the longest he has slept recently has been 3 hours. He is currently teething but he started sleeping less before we noticed the teething. When his teeth are really hurting him he wakes up every 1-1.5 hours. Do you have any suggestions????

    Thanks!

  8. Margaret says:

    I also, do not want to make him CIO, but daddy is suggesting it pretty frequently.

  9. Margaret says:

    Hi. I have a 4 month old little boy and I’ve been co-sleeping with him since he came home from the hospital. Daddy’s getting tired of getting crowded in bed since our son likes to take up lots of bed space. So, I’m trying to get him to sleep by himself in the packnplay by our bed. I’m working on naps right now. Morning naps are good, he’ll sleep 1 hr to 1 1/2 hrs in the morning. Afternoon naps are tougher though. To get him to sleep, I always have to rock him and/or walk him around til he falls asleep. I’ve tried to put him down when he’s drowsy, but he just wakes up wide awake and cries til I pick him up. Patting him and stroking his head/face doesn’t even help then. He’s so used to using mommy as his security blanket. I’ve got a lovie he likes to cuddle, but he still prefers mommy. A few weeks ago, we tried nighttime sleeping in the packnplay, and he slept for an hour or two, but kept waking up. I try and get him to go to bed around 7-8pm in his packnplay, but he just naps for an hour then wakes up. I’m not sure what to do anymore. Should I work more on naps, then attack the nighttime, or just do all at once? Please help!

  10. Jess Ray says:

    Purvi,

    Pick up a copy of Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution for Pre Schoolers and Toddlers. Best advice to be had! Good luck.

    Jess

  11. Purvi says:

    Hi…i am reallly looking for some advice on getting my daughter to bed on her own. She is almost 2 and 1/2 years old and sleeps in our bed. Either my husband or i have to stay their until she actually falls asleep! After she falls asleep we move her to her crib. She will then wake up around 3-4 am and scream bloody murder and we bring her back to our bed, where she sleeps the rest of the night.
    Couple of things that you should know are that her crib is our room. We are expecting our second child soon and want our daughter to sleep in a separate room in a toddler bed. Any advice you can offer would be great. Thank you.

  12. Jess Ray says:

    Angie,

    I sent you an email.

    Jess

  13. I was very interested in your review, but it no longer looks available here. I would love to hear your thoughts – angiealltheway@gmail.com

  14. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Sarah,

    I think the No Cry Sleep Solution would be able to help you. It sounds like your daughter has become dependent on you and her paci to fall asleep and now that her sleep cycles are maturing and her “awareness” has increased she is needing you every time she has the slightest awakening in the night.

    She needs to learn how to self soothe, but gradually and gently. The NCCS helps you do just that.

    You are already ahead of the curve by having a routine in place and with her napping so well, that is half the battle.

    I would start by putting her down, with her paci, sleepy but awake at bedtime. Stay in the room in the rocker and see what happens. If she starts to fuss, pick her up, calm her down and then try again.

    One of the main problems with CIO is that babies develop and negative association to sleep. It sounds like your little one likes sleep and welcomes it but has gotten to a point where she is not sure how to get there.

    I hope that helps!

  15. Sarah Ray says:

    Hey Jess!
    I came across your forum while looking up no cry sleep solutions. I have a 4 month old, she has always been a good sleeper in the fact that when she’s tired she’ll let you know and almost as soon as I give her her paci and rock her she falls right asleep. She sleeps 3-4 hours during the day and at night I have just established a bed time routine with a bath and feeding and in bed around 8pm with her sleeping til around 7 or 8am. Up until just recently she was waking up 3-4 times a night to feed but recently she’s been waking up every 1-2 hours and she’s not hungry and she won’t go back to sleep until I pick her up and hold her for a few mins but even then she’ll wake back up within 2 hours. I keep hearing the cry it out method works but I feel horrible letting her cry like that especially since she doesn’t understand. Any Advice???

  16. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Kelley,

    I am of the thinking that if your baby is waking after 5 – 6 hours of solid sleep needing to eat then he is probably genuinely hungry. Even if it is just a few ounces, it may be what he needs to feel full and fall back to sleep.

    But, if this one night waking is causing a real problem for you then I would suggest a couple of things…

    One, try getting him to bed a little earlier, a little bit at a time (15 min increments with a few days between time changes) until he is going down closer to 6:30 or 7. I know it may seem counter intuitive, but it has been proven that an early bedtime until the age of 2 is best for their overall sleep patterns.

    Two, try upping his food/formula intake during the day. Fill that tank a bit more so to speak. But avoid foods later in the day that can be stimulating such as refined carbs and sugars. When I eliminated white potatoes from my DD’s diet and substituted sweet potatoes her sleep improved that same night.

    Three, try to wean the night feeding bit by bit. Have less and less formula in the bottle (again by tiny increments).

    I don’t have any experience with formula so you may want to consult with your pediatrician about how to go about altering the number of ounces per day your little guy is getting.

    Finally, if none of this works then I would simply chalk it up to him truly needing to eat and do your best to persevere. If he is sleeping well overall, which IMHO, it sounds like he is…have faith that this will probably pass soon. I read somewhere that 10 months is usually the turning point for a lot of babies when it comes to sleeping through the night as this is when the frequent growth spurts subside and their nervous system matures to be able to sleep for 10-11 hours at a stretch.

    I know MANY moms who would trade places with you in a second to have only one night waking per night. Some babies still wake 2-3 times per night at this age.

    All the best,

    Jess

  17. Kelley says:

    Thanks so much for posting this review of the 3 day sleep solution! I was just about to order it as it looks so promising on the website!
    My 91/2 month old is kind of challenging. He takes 2 45-60 minute naps during the day He has no trouble at all going to sleep, we have a pretty good routine. He falls asleep between 7:30-8:00 and sleeps pretty well, but wakes up once per night. The time can range from 1AM-3AM. He screams and screams until we give him a bottle, then he drinks a few ounces and goes back to sleep till about 6:30- 7:00. I’ve tried just giving him the binkie, holding him, giving him his lovie, etc. He just will not settle down till he gets the milk. If we let him go too long without giving in to the milk, he wakes up even more and is harder to settle down for sleep!
    Any suggestions on how to get rid of this night “feeding”?

  18. ali says:

    i haven’t read through all the responses, but I read your review of the 3 day sleep solution by Davis E., and I have to say, I never bought the DVDs, I only heard her on newmommiewnewbabies.com podcast and my impression was that I was to let her cry only a few minutes and then check on her. I am a very spiritually oriented person, and couldn’t imagine letting DD cry a moment, and at 5 months, I had barely let her cry ever, except a few occassions when she had a meltdown and there was nothing to do but hold her and love her. anyway, what i gathered from the podcast was the following: put her down between 5-6 pm (she had been going down around 10pm after bath ritual, and waking up at least every 2-3 hours generally); put her down for naps every 90 minutes or so awake but drowsy; when she wakes up after going down for the night (say 2-3-4 hours later) let her cry 5 minutes, check on her, let her cry 7 minutes. well, we did this only two nights, having let her cry a total of twenty minutes and by the 3rd night, she slept until 11:30pm then awakened around 5am. Davis says every baby wakes between 5:30 and 6:30 am and I see this with my DD. I have decided to put her down close to 6pm, feed her when she awakens (always between 11-12am) then another feeding around 5-6:30am. it’s not infalliable, as last night she seemed to want to eat every 2-3 hours again, but I truly believe she needs her deep sleep, and while babies wake up lots during the night, we need to help their digestive systems rest while their brains rejuvinate. I don’t think this program should be labeled cry it out, because after all, it should only take a few days. If it takes longer, then maybe its not a good program for that child, as I don’t think we should ignore them if they are in distress. just my 2 cents! good luck to all.

  19. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Claudia,

    First off, that is WAY too late of a bedtime for your little boy. At that age he should be in bed by 7pm at the latest. My DD is almost four and is in bed by 7:30pm.

    Second, he should be napping at least once if not twice a day. If he is not, then he is OVER tired which contributes to night wakings.

    Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution For Pre-Schoolers and Toddlers gets into all of this, you may want to grab a copy. Otherwise, feel free to contact me via private email to set up a time to talk. jray1175@gmail.com

    Best,

    Jess

  20. Claudia Cuevas says:

    I have a 21 month old boy that has terrible sleeping patterns. He sleeps 11 hours but wakes up 2-3 times during the night (crying, if I may add). He usually goes to sleep between 10pm-12am and wakes up between the same time, 10am-12pm. I would like to talk to you about the whole situation. I don’t know what to do and I need some advice. Please contact me, if you can. Thank you. Claudia Cuevas

  21. Jess Ray says:

    First, Sorry it has taken so long for me to get back to you. With a new baby and a three year old, things are a little hectic to say the least!

    It is a common misconception that babies only wake due to hunger and that their sleep will improve when they begin to eat solids, but it is really a matter of their system maturing and developing the ability to sleep without help.

    The music may be starting to backfire or work against you at this point. I would try switching to white noise like a fan or air purifier. Also, a lovey of some sort may help.

    You also want to look at her nap time sleep and be sure that she is getting enough sleep during the day. She could be overtired and therefor need more help to sleep at night and unable to stay asleep.

    You would really benefit from reading the No Cry Sleep Solution. It really puts things in a perspective that makes sense. The plan she proposes can take a few weeks to kick in, so to speak, but is well worth it in the end. It would help you wean her from the swing.

    Also, try to look at it as a good thing that she doesn’t need to nurse to sleep. That can get rough when you baby uses you as a pacifier which is what happened to me with my first baby.

    Sorry I couldn’t be of more help to you…I am not on my game 100% right now as I am dealing with newborn sleep issues at the moment.

    All the best and I hope you can get some sleep soon.

  22. Nancy says:

    Hi Jess, thanks for the information on “3 Day Sleep”. I was reading their website, and it gives no indication that it is a variation of “Cry It Out”, which I am COMPLETELY AGAINST. So it would have been a big waste of money for me to get it.

    My daughter is 10 months old, has never been a good sleeper, but I am afraid that it is getting worse in some respects. For several months when she was younger (like 4-6 months or even younger than that), she would nurse, then I could lay her down in her crib (travel crib actually) in our room, pat her while she fussed a little bit, and she would go on to sleep. She did not fall asleep every time she nursed, like my son had when he was nursing. I considered it a problem that I did not have nursing as a sure-fire method to get her to sleep. She later began to fall asleep more while nursing. It got so bad, be started putting her in the swing to go to sleep, and she would sleep for maybe 4 hrs, but if the swing stopped, she’d wake up. Well, the motor died (we bought it 3 yrs ago for our first son), so luckily she will now stay asleep after it has stopped. We have to swing her ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP OF THE SWING MOTION, when it bumps, and that is the only way she will go to sleep in the swing. Oh, and the music on the swing is on too, and that helps. Many nights, I will nurse for a few minutes, and she starts to fuss and push away. I don’t think I am producing as much milk, as she is eating a good bit of solids. We make sure to feed her good before bed (solids I mean). When she starts to fuss and push away, I then try to just rock her and pat her to sleep. But her crying escalates. We have a soothing song playing all night, hoping that sound will soothe her (our son has a sound machine with ocean waves, but she seemed to respond better to music when she was younger). My husband says, “let me just swing her to sleep”. So I give up and hand her over. last night he swung her to sleep, then put her in her crib, and she slept for 2 hrs. then I nursed her back to sleep, put her back in her crib, she slept for 2 hrs. Then I couldn’t get her to go back to sleep for an hour (nursing). Finally I got her back to sleep in the swing, and she slept for at least a last 4 hrs.
    I have never heard of a baby who will not go to sleep with Mommy rocking her, but will go to sleep banging in the swing. Help!! You seem very knowledgeable from the info I’ve read here. I’ve tried to give you all the info I can so you can give me some tips.
    Again, thanks for saving me the money I may have spent to buy 3DaySleep, since I would not have been comfortable with the recommendations to let her cry.
    Any advice would be appreciated.
    Nancy

  23. Jess Ray says:

    Frances,

    It sounds like you need to go back to the drawing board a bit, maybe re-read the relevant parts of the No Cry Sleep Solution as a refresher and re-enforcer of the philosophy.

    First, I would start by keeping a sleep journal. Write down when he goes down and when he wakes…trust me you will see a pattern eventually. Evalee was all over the map too when I started so just trust me on this. Get a little notebook and write down when he wakes, when he goes down, how he went down (nursing, rocking etc) and when he ate.

    Second, try a different object as a lovey. What is he drawn to? I purchased one of those Snoedels for Evalee (from the NCSS) and she wanted nothing to do with it. I noticed that she really like this one knitted blanket we got as a gift. I asked my MIL to make a little version of it, about 10in by 10in, and she still uses it to this day (she is 3 and a half). Does he have a little stuffed animal he likes? Try to find something, anything to replace you as a comfort tool.

    Third, try introducing some white noise rather than music. A fan or something that makes pure white noise. Music can be stimulating rather than soothing.

    Fourth, lighting. What is the light quality in his room. He may need complete darkness to sleep. We had to put room darkening shades on Evalee’s windows to get her to nap.

    Fifth, now bear with me on this one…but have you considered co-sleeping? Just to get him to sleep for now and then once you do have a schedule, routine etc introduce the crib. Just a thought. You may be surprised. And if it means you all getting the much needed sleep you all need, why not?

    Sixth, do NOT let him nurse to sleep. Tickle his feet, chin, whatever to keep him just slightly awake. Try to follow the wake, eat, play sleep pattern.

    Seventh, not that you want to read yet another book but this one is an easy read and really helpful: “The 90-minute Baby Sleep Program” by Polly Moore, PHD. I am using this method along with the NCSS with my newborn (I had a baby boy Xmas morning) and so far so good.

    I know this is a lot so I hope its not too much. Let me know how you make out. Whatever you do, give it at least 2 weeks. Create a routine and stick with it.

    Good luck,

    Jess

  24. Frances says:

    Hi Jess,

    Thanks for the quick feedback!

    i did try to introduce a lovey but it never worked… i still breastfeed with the lovey beside us but he doesn’t really go for it… i;ve evn slept with it and then put it in his crib. his daytime naps are horrible.. since day one he never slept longer than 20 min catnaps… and he always had to be swaddled.. especially at night till about 4 months old. onle recently has he been napping longer about 40-60 min… but usually 40 on the nose.. and he gets very cranky around 6-630 and sometimes catnaps at that time too. his bedtime routine starts with a bath… however… we were only giving baths every second night… because i was unsure if we should do it everynight… as he enjoys it but maybe too much… he gets excited … then we put on his pj’s and read a few books and then feed and the bed… and we play some soft music during the story and feeding.
    i know i lack a REAL routine… even during the day… but i don’t know how to KEEP a routine when he is never the same… he doesn’t wake at the same time to start his day and he never sleeps at the same time for his naps or for the same amount of time… so i usually just go by his cues… but this means our routine is lacking… and i don’t know how to fix that??

    ok… thanks for listening!
    Frances

  25. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Frances,

    I am going to reply to you via private email but I wanted to comment here as well for the benefit of future readers…

    I know it can feel like it but, a 5 and 1/2 month old is not capable of manipulation. I also know the temptation of the formula vs breast milk debate.

    All he/she can do is tell you as best he/she can what she needs and that is through crying. It sounds like although you found some success with the No Cry Sleep Solution initially, you may need to revisit its principles for your baby’s new stage in life.

    I have a few questions for you before I can offer too much advice:

    1. Does your son have a lovey (other than the pacifier)?
    2. How is his daytime sleep/naps?
    3. What is the time like leading up to bedtime, what sort of routine have you created to signal time for sleep?

    From what you have shared so far, it sounds like you have a “high need” baby. He needs your contact. Have you tried wearing him in a sling or wrap during the day to give him some more mommy contact time? Or is he in daycare now? Like I said, tell me more about your situation, what has changed other than his (and your) lack of sleep.

    Hope to hear from you soon!

    Jess

  26. Frances says:

    Hi Jess,

    I stumbled upon your site looking for sleep tips for my 5 and 1/2 month old. I appreciated your blog however i already read the no-cry sleep solution and i did think it was working. i went from 3 night time feedings to picking him up and rocking him to putting the pacifier back in his mouth without picking him up till about 6am… which i thought was amazing… but now something is different… he wakes all the time and his longest stretch is only about 2 and a half hours. i started formula also and i think that was helping him sleep longer… but not anymore! My husband thinks we need to let him cry because the baby seems to manipulate us… when we pick him up he immediately stops crying and falls asleep and then we have a hard time putting him back in his crib… he cries the moment he feels like we are moving him away from our body. Anyways, i’m a VERY patient person but i’m starting to feel like something has got to give because i’m just sooo exhausted… and so is my baby who was NEVER a good sleeper.

    any thoughts would be appreciated!
    Thanks!
    Frances

  27. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Sandy,

    I will reply to you via private email.

    Jess

  28. Sandy says:

    I just stumbled across this piece you submitted about the “cry it out” method. I have to say that you have re-assured me that letting your child scream is a harsh way to go about things.

    My daughter is now 5 months old, she’ll be six months on the 29th. Since my husband and I brought her home from the hospital she had been sleeping threw the night. Lucky to say the least… up until recently. Over the last month or so she has been waking up during the night. Usually only once or twice, but since I have been back to work since this new pattern of hers is exhausting me.

    Typically when she wakes up the first time, I go…put the nook in her mouth, place my hand on her till she falls back to sleep. Then about an hour or 2 later, she rises again and really demands a meal. So I give in.

    Now here is the deal… recently I started her on solids, thinking “oh maybe she is going threw a growth spert”… So I would give her some cereal and some fruits in the morning with about 5-6 oz or milk. Then milk (8 oz) for the rest of the day. Unfortunatelty… this has not “cured” the issue because she is still waking up during the night.

    My husband is I guess you could say a “closet” advocate for the “cry it out” method, where as for me, I just can’t see myself letting my child scream in distress until there is no other resort for their small bodies BUT to exhaust themselves into sleep. I just feel as though this method is cruel and just forms a DISTRUST…that really, your child DEPENDS on from the moment of conception.

    I guess where I am going with this whole thing is… before I go and buy this book, maybe YOU could give me some sound advice! My email should show up for you to see if you would like to contact me there, PLEASE FEEL FREE!!!!
    -Sandy

  29. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Rani,

    Being that your daughter is 3 and I can only assume she can communicate with you…have you just come right out and asked her why she doesn’t like her new bed?

    What was the transition? From crib/toddler size bed to a twin, full? Is the bed just a mattress on the floor? Tell me what her original sleep environment was like and how it has changed. Try and look at it from a 3 year old perspective. The time of 3 is also the time of fears. Does she have a lovey or “friend” to help comfort her? Have you tried a night light?

    I want to help you and am more than willing to talk through all of this with you but you need to give me more insight.

    Hope to hear from you soon.

  30. rani says:

    Hi Jess my daughter is Jas also she is 3 I have read the book no cry sleep my daughter was a great sleeper until now she is three and just got into her big girl bed I am a fulltime working mother my hubby works nights she has not let me sleep in days I have slept with ehr rocked her read to her let he cry it out everything and still no good result please help!!!

  31. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Kimberley,

    Like I said to Rachelle, I think it is great your daughter responded so well to Davis’s method. And you too have a point that I did not try it myself.

    But, I do not think that I am being harsh at all. In the printed review I simply state the facts of what the program contains. And in my video I share my experience as well as that of some of my family. I also quote. Dr. Sears information on the effect of the cry it out method.

    My message to parents considering this method is to trust their instincts and to not do something out of desperation that they may regret. Every baby is different. There is no one size fits all method for anything in the world of parenting, as I am sure you know all too well.

    You are certainly entitled to your opinion as am I. I am expecting my second child in Dec ’09 and my plan is to follow the No Cry Sleep Solution again since that is what worked so well for my daughter.

    To any parents who may be reading this thread, take all of these comments into consideration. If you feel your baby or toddler will respond well to Davis’s program, then by all means, give it a shot.

  32. Kimberley says:

    First let me say that I am a pretty green mom myself. We are all about organic and pure and letting our kids develop in their own ways. We also are a NON-corporal punishment household with no spanking and positive behavior support throughout the family so it is all about rewarding. We have a selective vaccination schedule and our kids pediatrician is Dr. Robert Sears!

    I was initially TOTALLY against the cry it out method with my first daughter. She didn’t sleep for the first 9 months of life – NO KIDDING – 9 MONTHS of up every hour – My husband and I took shifts in the night to address the issue for this long and truth be told it took a toll on all of us – I read EVERY book out there including the one you recommend and I tried all the methods for weeks at a time to try to avoid the cry it out method.

    A friend of mine recommended that I consult Davis and although I was hesitant and skeptical I called and followed her advice down to the simplest things – she was supportive and educational through the entire process and my child is now not only a GREAT sleeper but a Happy, well-developed, independent 3 year old. I consulted Davis again when our second daughter was born 9 months ago and within 8 weeks she was sleeping for 12 hours a night. We would NEVER let our children cry if they were hurt, scared, or ill and if I ever thought it would be detrimental to their development or psyche I would not have done it. I am a school psychologist and well educated in child development as well as what impacts parent’s behavior has on children.

    For you to be so harsh on this method without having ever executing it yourself is not fair. I think it scares parents that may be in a situation like I was where no other solutions may have worked for them. I am sure the no cry solution works for many children but there ARE some that just need another way and this is NOT abusive in any form! I think you really need to educate yourself fully before you make sweeping statements about a method.

  33. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Rachelle,

    First of all let me say that I am very happy that you had positive results with the 3 Day Sleep Solution. And you certainly have a point in that I didn’t try the method out. Honestly, my daughter is almost 3 1/2 and is well beyond needing it thanks to the No Cry Sleep Solution. I was simply looking into something that parents were asking me about through my blog.

    I feel you may have missed my point. I DO agree with the prep material Davis provides in preparing your baby for sleep. She absolutely provides sound advice in how to read sleepy signs, getting on the right schedule, the importance of naps and how to avoid using sleep crutches. I also like that fact that she cautions using her method until the baby is at least 3 months old.

    BUT, one thing that Davis does not take into account is baby’s personality. Not all people/babies are sleepers. My daughter was one of them. Even when I was utilizing the very principles that Davis recommends (all very similar to those in the No Cry Sleep Solution) my daughter was very distraught and would cry very, very hard. She was a high need baby. (Lucky me!)

    Your babies sound like this method was perfect for them and their personality and probably took to it so well because you followed Davis’s advice to the letter.

    Let me ask you, when you say your babies did not cry that long at all, how long is that exactly? Just curious. Also, did they immediately sleep through the night? Just for the sake of other readers considering this product.

    At the end of the day, we all want what is best for our children but have to keep our own sleep needs in mind. I did not mean to come across in saying that the 3 Day Sleep Solution is BAD. I just wanted people to know that it is a CIO method and that it may not be right for all babies.

    Thank you for your feedback.

    Jess

  34. rachelle b says:

    I fully DO NOT agree with your ‘review’ on the 3 Day Sleep Solution. First of all, how can you really ‘review’ a product you didn’t even try?? I had BOTH my babies do the 3 Day Sleep Solution and it was THE BEST thing that could have ever happened in our family. Yes, they cried but NOT that much because if you follow Davis’ steps and suggestions, you will learn the ‘right time’ to put your baby down for bed/naps, knowing sleepy signs, etc….all these things help minimize ‘crying’ time AND usually, it only lasts a few days. My babies are in NO WAY traumatized….in fact it’s the opposite… people ALWAYS tell me , “Your babies are SOOOO happy” and my answer to them is, “3 Day Sleep Solution” – it’s because they sleep!!
    Davis is right on w/her program – I could not disagree with you more.

  35. Jess Ray says:

    Hi Scott,

    Wow. First I would like to commend you and your wife for sticking it out this long without using the cry it out method. I know how tempting it is when things get to this point.

    How verbal is your daughter at this stage? Can you ask her what her fears are? Are you using a lovey or cuddly friend, white noise, night lite etc? For instance, on nights when my daughter (3 yrs old) is having a tough time going to sleep (bed nap day, over stimulated etc) I go in, sit at the bottom of her bed and ask her what is wrong. Sometimes she just needs one more song, a 5 min back rub, a drink of water…something like that and I never hear another peep.

    There could be a couple of things going on with your little pumpkin. From how you are describing it, it sounds fear based. Like she is afraid you guys are going to leave. If that is the case, try leaving the door cracked so she can hear you a bit. Also, if fear is the issue, does she have a lovey of doll of some sort to being her comfort in your absence?

    When you say you “try routine”, do you stick to it? Routine is crucial when helping your child learn how to sleep independently.

    Without getting more information its hard to lead you in any particular direction. I would be more than happy to chat with you and your wife on the phone some evening. Although I am not a “expert” on infant/toddler sleep, it is a subject that I have studied extensively (you should see my bookshelf) and love helping fellow parents find gentle ways to teach their kiddos to sleep through the night.

    Let me know and best of luck.

    Jess

  36. Scott says:

    I liked your review of the 3 day sleep solution. I could not get the sound to turn up very loud but got most of the information. I am trying to study the best methods for getting our 24 month old to sleep. She is in a full sized bed and we used to lay with her to get her to sleep after reading a book and singing songs. Now we have a good routine that she knows laid out for her and we read to her and sing but then stay in the room but will not lay there with her. We keep reassuring her that we are there but she takes 30-60 minutes to fall asleep, even though she is tired. After that she still wakes up 1-4 times per night, we try to go in and reassure her that she is fine but really wearing on us, she has never been a good sleeper and has probably only slept through the night a handful of times. We have talked to the Dr., she sees a chiropractor who is a friend of ours for minor adjustments with some success. I had thought about the cry it out method but now feel against it, but I am interested in trying a modified Ferber method that worked when she was in her crib – always check on her but delay 5 minutes each time. Most nights now my wife eventually gives in and starts sleeping with her by 4 or 5am and it seems counter productive. I know you are not an expert but noticed what you said at the end of the video and ask if you have any advice. We try routine, we try to comfort, but also want to reclaim part of our lives back and have time together before we need to sleep, we also have a second child on the way in January. Our daughter takes a 1-2 nap at daycare each day and goes to bed around 8:30 (actually falls asleep by 9 – 9:30) and gets out of bed by 7:00

    any advice is helpful, I will continue to check out your site

    thanks

  37. […] is a blog post that reviews the 3-day sleep solution, though the author is opposed to […]

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